How to avoid embarrassment when buying adult toys

To be honest, I can’t think of any reason for being embarrassed when buying sex toys. After all, it’s human to seek pleasure, isn’t it?
But unfortunately, many people still perceive it as a taboo, even in today’s society. So if you do not feel confident enough to walk straight into a boutique, shop around a bit and leave with a bag full of toys, here are some tips to make the “first time” easier for you.

– The most obvious hint is probably to go shopping with a good friend of yours, and once you pass by a sex shop you make a joke about having a look inside. I bet, your friend will just be as curious as you are. Once inside, make fun of the really strange items you might find. Touch them to get a feel for the material. You will discover that there are also more and more designer toys, which might actually surprise you. So when you find something you like, take it with a smile and ask your friend what she / he is going to choose.

– Visit a nice store rather than one of the classic sex shops that make most of their sales on porn movies and often have video cabins inside the store. Search the internet for combined lingerie and toy boutiques, often managed by women, that have a friendly and open atmosphere and a selection of the best designer toys in different price ranges. As they do not only sell sex toys, you have a good “excuse” (if you really need one) for going there.

– If it makes you more confident, have a look at the wide variety of toys online before you go to a real shop. Get a feel for what kind of toy you are interested in and read some reviews. You can also write down any questions you might have, so that you have a starting point for a conversation with one of the sales people in the store.

– In the store, make eye contact with the sales person that seems the most likeable to you. Be honest about being a newbie to the field and ask for recommendations. In many cases, you will be surprised how knowledgeable and friendly sales staff in adult boutiques actually can be.

– Bring a big handbag. Unfortunately, the cliché of brown plastic bags still remains true in many sex shops (at least the classic ones), so it’s a good idea to bring your own bag. Or simply have the toy gift-wrapped! 😉

– Of course, there are not only physical stores where you can buy sex toys. A fun alternative are toy parties, a concept that is becoming really popular in many countries. It basically means that you invite some friends over for a girls’ night-in, and a sales girl comes along to present to you various toys of different brands. Afterwards you can immediately place your order in all privacy and the toys will be delivered to you within a few days.

– If you still feel too embarrassed to go to a shop or throw a party, you can still shop online. The disadvantage here is that you cannot feel the material of the toys and might not be sure about the dimensions as well as the different speeds and vibration patterns. However, of course, it’s still better than not buying any sex toy at all and missing out on all these amazing orgasms! ;-). However, more and more websites also link to reviews by actual users where you can read about the pros and cons of many products on the market.

So, don’t forget to put a nice little something for yourself on your next shopping list!

Yours,

Nomi Tang

Long distance relationships

Hey everyone, I hope you are still in the lucky situation of enjoying your summer holidays, or if you just returned from them that you had a good one! Maybe you found a little more at your holiday destination this year than photos motifs and souvenir items..? Every year after the holiday season, long distance relationships pump up the volume of emails, sms and Facebook messages sent around the world.

Many of these long distance relationships won’t last for long, as the magic of the hot summer flirt at the pool bar is just not the same when meeting again in a rainy country town. But there are also many long distance relationships that endure, and even people choosing this kind of couple life as a lifestyle. If you are determined to make it happen, go for it! It’s worth it, no matter if it will last forever or just create many romantic memories. 🙂

Here are some tips to make it easier for both of you:
Do not call each other every ten minutes. Rather set up a phone date. Then take your time, make sure you will not be disturbed and do not do anything else while talking to your partner.

Do not isolate yourself as a couple, but meet each other’s friends. It will make it easier to fight jealousy, and you won’t run out of conversation material if you can relate to your partner’s environment.

Your lover fell in love with the active person you were before you were with him / her. So when you’re apart, do not stay home moaning and complaining that something is missing in your life, but have a life of your own.

Talk about your future. Do not lie to yourselves about when the separation is going to end (if it is going to end in some point in time), but make plans. Schedule holiday festivities, plan visits ahead and book holidays together.

And last but not least – one of my favorites: engage in activities together. For example, watch the same movie on TV and have Skype and a webcam running at the same time. Thereby you can interact immediately and share the experience of the movie. Once the webcam is up and running, I am sure you will find many other fun ways to share. Let your creativity take over and take it from there ;).

Stay connected,

Nomi

Erogenous zones – The most pleasurable spots on your body

We all heard about them – but you might still be wondering where exactly these famous erogenous zones are on your and your partner’s body, and how to stimulate them in order to get high.

The erogenous zones I will point out for you in a second are generally the same for all humans. However, attempts at stimulating someone may or may not work depending on their personal sensitivity. Depending on previous experiences or cultural circumstances, some might even have adverse reactions. So while drawing your personal map of pleasure, keep communicating.

It will possibly drive you and your partner equally crazy if you lightly touch each other’s inner thighs, and you probably knew that already. However, it may come as a bit of a surprise for both of you, that women are really sensitive behind the knees! Also commonly recognized are the buttocks. Contrary to most other erogenous zones, stimulation can be a bit rougher here. Ask your partner to squeeze or softly spank your bum. If you are in the mood, you might even try anal sex (protection is crucial here to prevent unpleasant infections!).

To return the favor, try touching his P-spot, the perineum (the area between the scrotum and the anus), to heighten the intensity of his orgasm. Another hot spot on your body is the neck. It works well together with sexy promises whispered in your ear and a tight grip on your hair to give you that “I want you sooooo badly!” feel. I bet you know what I’m talking about? 😉 And how about making him a little love bite as a souvenir of your hot play?

The soles of the feet are by far the most tickly area of many people’s body. Either you love being caressed there – or you hate it. However, the feet offer far more than just the sole to play around with! Do also pay attention to the toes – especially the toe tips. When it comes to hands, the finger tips are the most sensitive body part after the tongue! Many women also like being touched and kissed on the wrists, a fact that most men (and women!) ignore.

The three last erogenous zones I will mention are the classics: Breasts and nipples, the genitals, and the lips.
Surprisingly, when it comes to breasts, they have the same number of nerve endings no matter how large they are! This means, that smaller breasts are actually more sensitive, while larger breasts can be stimulated more forcefully. And of course, caressing the chest and paying particular attention to the nipples is also a very pleasurable experience for your male companion.

Did you know that many women are actually more sensitive on the lips than on their vagina and clitoris? But this is only the scientific finding. If your experience tells you otherwise, trust your own body and not the scientists! 😉

When it comes to men, the penis is the pleasure centre. Particularly, the head and foreskin, as well as the testicles. Whatever you do, be careful not to hurt his best part. And expect the same respect when it comes to your centre of lust. If he does not get it right the first time, guide him. It will enable you to have a more pleasurable experience, and I’m sure he will enjoy you being in command. 😉

So, now that you have a rough idea of where to explore your body to find erogenous zones, you might still be asking HOW to do so. Well, there are virtually endless possibilities. What feels good will differ from body part to body part, so experiment and communicate with your partner.

To start with, try some of these: touching, caressing, breathing, whispering, kissing, licking, sucking, biting… To make it even more exciting, use a feather to tickle, touch the skin with an ice cube (start on less sensitive parts!) or apply some warming or cooling lubricant to enhance the sensation.

I found a cute map online, where the most common erogenous zones are shown. It also comes with hints and tips on how to stimulate each zone, so have a quick look and start experimenting!

Yours,

Nomi

Myths about vibrators

We all have probably already heard or read some arguments why we should not be pleasing ourselves with sex toys. Apparently, there are people who would rather not have us use them at all, mostly out of fear. You possibly know that something that feels so good cannot be bad for you, but I still would like to respond to some of the most common myths about vibrators:

Sex toys can cause damage to your body.
If you are using your vibrator many times a day, every day, like any repetitive behavior, your body may start to get used to it. Applying strong, direct pressure on any part of the body can cause the surrounding tissue to feel numb, but this is only a temporary condition. In terms of sensation, there is no evidence that vibrators cause any permanent change in physical sensitivity. If you experience acclimatization to your vibe’s stimulation, try masturbating with different levels of pressure, do only use your hands or any soft non-vibrating objects you like, and vary the frequency of use.

Sex toys are addictive.
Addiction implies harm, and there is nothing harmful about using sex toys (as long as they’re used properly). It’s true that people can become used to using sex toys, and even come to rely on them, but there is no “withdrawal” and anyone can easily get themselves back to masturbation or partner sex without sex toys. People who suggest that vibrator addiction is real tend to be people who think that any sex toy use is too much sex toy use.

There’s a very human propensity to become familiar with a particular form of stimulation. Whether it’s cunnilingus from your partner, or vaginal penetration from your dildo, there are some forms of stimulation you count on to get you off. You can become addicted to your vibrator just as easily as you become addicted to a particular practice with your partner. It can happen, but you are not helpless to control and change it. Experiment with new positions, new toys, and new activities. Keep trying new things and you’ll never be sexually dependent on any one particular practice.

Sex toys are only for people who have a bad sex life, or no sex life.
Everyone and anyone you can image is the kind of person who uses sex toys. In fact, research on vibrator use suggests that people who are having sex use sex toys more than those who aren’t, and that between 20-30% of people have used sex toys at least once in their lives. The use of sex toys has become common for men and women. Many couples use sex toys during sexual intercourse.

If a woman has a sex toy, she won’t need a man.
Sex toys are not replacements for people. A sex toy won’t cuddle or tell you how much it loves you. Many men are intimidated by sex toys because they have been raised with the idea that the most important thing about them is what’s between their legs. These myths about male sexuality sink in early, and as a result most men are insecure about their sexual importance. Also, let’s remember that there are lots of women who don’t want a man in the first place, and a sex toy isn’t going to change that one way or the other.

There are bad sex toys and good sex toys.
Except for a few sex toys that pose obvious risks, there is no such thing as a “good” or “bad” sex toy. Sex toys are whatever you do with them. A vibrator that would be too strong, too heavy, and painful for one person might be just perfect for another. A dildo that feels sticky and looks weird to one might be the ideal shape, size and texture for another. The trick is to find the sex toy that’s right for you.

There are even more good news:
– Women using vibrators experience better sexual function and a more satisfying sex life. Vibrators have been linked to higher levels of arousal, increased libido and more frequent orgasms.
– Most women (71,5%) reported never having experienced any side effects associated with vibrator use. The rare side effects reported were typically of very short duration.
– Almost half (44,8%) of all heterosexual and homosexual men have already incorporated a vibrator into sexual activities.
– Men who used vibrators recently scored themselves higher on four of the five domains of sexual function (erectile function, intercourse satisfaction, orgasmic function and sexual desire).

So, spread the word that using sex toys is a lot of fun and enhances your sex life in general, and, most importantly, enjoy yourself and keep experimenting!

Yours,

Nomi Tang

Better than Chocolate wins world’s leading design award!

I am proud to announce that our Better than Chocolate layon-vibrator has been awarded with the world’s leading design award: the red dot design award 2010. Better than Chocolate thus officially belongs to the best designed products worldwide and will carry the objective quality seal on its packaging starting this July, reassuring consumers that they have purchased an outstanding product.

Presented in a beautiful gift box, Better than Chocolate combines technology and sensuality in a multi-speed, multi-function, waterproof vibrator. It’s the perfect romantic gift for birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas and Valentine’s day – and so much more thoughtful than buying a box of chocolates from the garage on the way home from work.

Smooth, tactile and beautifully presented, Better than Chocolate is a hi-tech treat for single women and couples. As well as delivering a sensual massaging sensation, it’s totally waterproof – perfect to spice up shower time or a long, luxurious soak in the bath. Better than Chocolate is made from top-quality, skin-safe materials designed to deliver many years of orgasmic satisfaction.

Rest assured that we will not rest on our laurels: our young brand will soon release new products which will build on the success of Better than Chocolate!

Nomi Tang proud sponsor of the 2010 Feminist Porn Awards

This year, I’m a proud sponsor of the Good For Her Feminist Porn Awards! To be exact, “better than chocolate” will be featured at the dessert buffet as we are the Diamond Hospitality Sponsor! Sweet Pleasures is our business, how good is that? 😉

The Feminist Porn Awards is hosted by my friends at Good For Her Adult Boutique and will be held on April 8th and 9th in Toronto. The official website with more detailed info about the different award categories can be found here: http://www.goodforher.com/fpa_2010.

So, why did I decide to support this event? Well, for one I am supporting the Awards because they attract some of the most dedicated boutique owners, sex educators and lovely people from all over the world and I would like to give back for the support that they extend to my young brand. But through the sponsorship I also came to realize how much there is to Feminist Porn today. When I first learned about the Awards, my first question was:
Isn’t there a contradiction between “feminism” and “porn”?

Well, after all much of today’s mainstream porn production is targeting men, and often presents unnatural, stereotypical characters. So I guess what many women tend to do is to ignore porn and simply not watch it. But I have to say, that watching porn can be quite stimulating and it is a nice way to get new ideas to shake up your sex life. We all know that the world is inundated with cheesy, cliche, degrading, no-budget, patronizing and stupid porn. But we also believe that erotic fantasy is powerful stuff, and that women deserve to put their dreams and desires on film too. That’s why a group of visionaries started the feminist porn business, following the logic of Annie Sprinkle who says: “The answer to bad porn is not no porn. It’s better porn!”. I vigorously agree with Annie.

Feminist porn is defined as “Porn which does not portray, promote, or utilize stereotypical gender constructs, exploitative gaze, or highly unnatural, stereotypical appearance standards. Also, the porn would be produced by a company dedicated to equality in all levels of production, promotion, and distribution.”. The goal of the Good For Her Feminist Porn Awards is to honor pornographers whose groundbreaking work offers a fresh perspective on the sexual expression of women and everyone who finds themselves under-represented in mainstream pornography.

The past five years have seen a multitude of improvements in the adult industry as a whole, especially as it pertains to women. Perhaps most important of these is the explosion of female filmmakers looking to change the way that sex is presented on screen. Queer directors are moving away from delicate lesbian sex to authentic representations of the diversity of queer communities and exploring the ways that sex and culture interact. Straight female directors are showing that porn for women doesn’t always have to look like romance novels come to life, but that soft-core and hardcore are equally sought after by discerning female porn viewers.

What follows this growth in female directors, is of course, female viewers. Women are watching porn, talking about porn, buying porn and sharing porn with their partners in record numbers – a reported 1/3 of porn viewers are women, and as many as 9 million women access adult websites per month.

If you would like to check it out for yourself, maybe try these movies: “All about Anna”, “Constance”, “Pink Prison”, Female Fantasies”.

Have a good time 🙂

I am looking forward to the Awards and am proud to be a part of it.

Yours,

Nomi

How to let your partner know you love him without actually saying it

Talk is cheap, that’s how the saying goes. Well, I am a big fan of honest couple communication, but I also like creativity and surprises. So why not take this year’s Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to say “I love you” without actually pronouncing it?

Here are some ideas of how to do it (works for both him and her):

– Leave a little note in his coat pocket. Remind him of a funny situation you had together, or tell him what you like most about him.

– Deliver his favorite food to his office – in person. Have a break together but respect if he is in a lack of time.

– In the old days I would have recommended to record a mix tape with songs that are linked to good memories that you two share with each other. Nowadays, why not make it a USB stick? Or even better, hide a playlist on his iPod, or send him a song via e-mail when he least expects it.

– Flirt with him. Forget that you have been a couple for so long (or maybe not so long) and relive the time when you first met and got to know each other. Make him compliments, pay him a drink, and dance with him. Shyly take his hand and let him wait to be kissed.

– Fulfill one of his sexual fantasies. In case you don’t know about any, just offer him to be his mistress (or slave?) for one night. Agree on a code word to interrupt your play at any time.

– Give him a sensual massage. You can either use massage oil that you warm up before use, or a lubricant. Lube is especially nice if you choose one with a nice scent or even taste. For the more adventurous among you, there are massage candles. The wax does not get too hot, so you can let the candle drop on your bodies and use the warm wax for a sexy massage.

– Offer your partner a calendar with sexy photos of yourself. A classic, I know, but it’s not only going to make him happy, but will also boost your ego. 😉

– Get a tattoo with your lover’s name – a fake one, of course! Your partner will be flattered, but probably also flattered you did not go for a real one.

So now that you have plenty of inspiration, get creative!

Love,

Nomi

Never used a vibrator before?

Don’t worry, I won’t tell you that you SHOULD use a vibrator or any other sex toy. This is far from my intention as I see sexuality as a highly personal aspect of one’s life, and nobody is able to tell what is right or wrong except for your own intuition and from what feels right for you.

But as you frequent this blog, I guess the thought about using a vibrator might already have crossed your mind. 🙂
There are various reasons why one might use a vibrator, and various situations to do so. Maybe you are looking for some new excitement for your solo play? Or are keen on trying something different together with your partner? Or you have simply been recommended to use one by a friend of yours and want to try it out of pure curiosity?

Now matter why you are thinking about using a vibrator, I encourage you to do so, as it will enhance your sex life and allows you to get to know your body even better. Worldwide about 25% of all women own at least one vibrator, and in the Western world numbers rise up to 50% and higher! So many women cannot be wrong. 😉

If you plan on using a vibrator for the first time, I suggest you to go for a model designed for clitoral stimulation. This allows you to get used to the handling and different buttons that are common to most sex toys, without having to think about the right size of the toy, your body’s reaction upon insertion or hitting the G-Spot.

Before you start, make sure you have plenty of time to try the toy and explore your body, and that you are in the right mood. Generally, the same advise that I gave last time concerning setting the mood for masturbation applies here. After all, it’s just sex (solo or with a partner), but with a toy.

Of course, there is no “right” way to use a vibrator, just do what feels right for you. But if you have never used one before, here are some hints to make it an enjoyable experience:

1. Use an antibacterial wet wipe or warm soapy water to clean the outside of your toy. If you picked a model that is not waterproof, be careful not to get any water near the battery compartment. Of course this does not apply to my range of vibrators.

2. Get to know your new toy by playing around with the switches and buttons. Make yourself familiar with the different
speeds and vibration patterns it offers.

3. Even if you plan on using a vibrator together with your partner, it might be easier to start on your own. You will feel more self-conscious and won’t be distracted 😉

4. Before turning the vibrator on, touch your body with it turned off. Thereby you get a feel for the sensations the material gives you when it touches your skin. This might also be the moment to decide if you want to apply some lubricant to make the toy slide better over your skin. Please be aware that most toys are made from silicone and should therefore only be used with water-based lubricant to avoid damages of the outer material.

5. Turn your vibrator on and try how the different patterns feel all over your body. Even though vibrators are used mostly around the vulva and clitoris, try slowly moving the vibrator up your inner thigh or in circles around your breasts and nipples before proceeding to your most sensitive parts.

6. Don’t rush! Take your time and explore every inch of your body for sexual pleasure. Experiment with the different speed and pulsation settings. Apply different pressure to your body parts and vary between pointing the tip of the vibrator or the flattest part of it against your body.

7. If you want to use your vibrator for penetration and it’s safe for this purpose (that is no rough edges, and not absorbing body fluids), I recommend to apply some water-based lubricant to the vibrator itself as well as your labia and vagina.

8. When you feel ready to go for it, start slowly with the penetration. Experiment and find out what feels best for you. Some women engage in the search for the famous G-Spot, others stimulate their clitoris indirectly by pressing the vibrator towards the belly.

9. After you stopped playing, clean your toy with antibacterial wet wipes and warm water, take the batteries out (to prevent corrosion) and store it in a clean place (some toys come with a handy storage pouch).
Seems complicated? Don’t worry, once you are in the mood and start experimenting it will be natural. And trust me, it only seems kinky the first time! 🙂

Enjoy,

Nomi Tang

How to masturbate | Enjoy yourself!

Orgasms are great! And most women achieve this delightful feeling more easily while masturbating than having sex with a partner. But let’s face it, whereas male masturbation is considered to be “normal” and maybe even necessary for the boys to “let off steam”, female masturbation still remains a taboo in wide parts of today’s society. Sometimes it’s seen as dirty, a stopgap for single women, or even a betrayal of the partner.

In my mind, masturbation is natural – as generally nobody teaches us how to do it, and we still end up discovering the pleasures of solo play sooner or later in our lives. Neither do I see masturbation as a substitute for sex – or sex as a substitute for masturbation. Masturbation can rather enhance your sexual experience with your partner, as you get to know your body, explore your erogenous zones and start developing fantasies. You will be able to guide your partner while having sex with him, and make it an even more pleasurable experience for both of you.

Especially for women who have difficulties to orgasm, solo play is a nice way to train the ability to practice how to get there with a partner. And the best part about it: The journey is the reward. 😉

So, no matter if you are a regular self-pleaser or a newcomer, here are some hints how to make masturbating a really good experience:

– Make sure you are warm (literally, I mean) and comfortable, find a nice spot where no one will disturb or interrupt you (except if you like that little thrill), and chose a situation where you have plenty of time.

– To create a personal cozy atmosphere, dim the light, light some candles, dispense relaxing essential oils and put on music you like.

– Begin by touching yourself all over, paying careful attention to the areas of the body that are most sensitive. Try arching your back, fondling your breasts, or clenching and rubbing your thighs together.

– Once you’re turned on, you probably feel ready for genital stimulation.

– Move your fingers closer towards your vagina. Don’t rush and explore the outer and inner vaginal lips. If you are not sure where your clitoris is, run your finger along the inside of the vaginal lips, up toward your navel. The clitoris is protected under a hood of skin, and most women do not enjoy directly touching the clitoral glans because it is very sensitive.

– Experiment with different methods of touching yourself: rub or stroke the shaft of your clitoris, massage the labia, use your fingers as a V-shape sliding up and down. Alternate between stimulating your vagina and your clitoris, between making circles and linear movements, and between different levels of pressure.

– Maybe you would like to position a mirror in a way that you can watch yourself and appreciate the attractiveness a sexual partner would see?

– Try to add some variation to your solo play: change the position and try different toys.

– Try new places. How about a nice bubble bath? Or a place where you could be spotted, such as a restaurant bathroom?

– Once you feel comfortable touching yourself, why not let your partner watch you while doing so? I promise you he will be turned on and maybe not even let you finish by ourself, but take over 😉

I bet, once you have tried experimenting, you will be able to add infinite ideas to that list. Actually, if you would like to do so, just leave a comment! 🙂

And never forget: Masturbation is sex with a person you love.

Yours,

Nomi

Merry X-mas and a Happy New Year!

The year 2009 is almost over. I hope you have some quiet and relaxing holidays awaiting you and your loved ones? Most likely you will have fixed your plans for these days by now, and maybe you are already wondering about your New Year’s Resolutions? The most common ones probably are to get fit and lose weight, spend less money and quit smoking. I agree that everyone should look after themselves and not mess too much with their bodies. Nevertheless New Year’s Eve should not become the day you abandoned all of life’s pleasures and became depressive because of extreme goals you set for your future.

So how about breaking the old pattern and taking on some more amusing and fun resolutions? You (and your partner) could for example try something new next year to spice up your intimate life. How about learning a new position from the Kamasutra every month, or introducing a new sensual accessory to your couple play? The possibilities are endless – lubricant to start with, cock rings for the more experienced, vibrators for the playful ones – and the payoff is immediate (contrary to such resolutions as to get back in shape).

If you still feel the need to settle for one of the classic resolutions, here is my advice:

1) Phrase your resolution as a positive statement: “I want to feel better about my body.” instead of “I have to get rid of these extra kilos.”
2) Stay realistic: Do not dream about model sizes and a perfect life – these only exist in the media after hours of image editing. Define milestones and reward yourself for every progress you make.
3) Focus. I guess you’ll agree that it is far better to succeed one small change in your lifestyle than to give up on five fantastic resolutions. Don’t you?

On this note, I just wish you a happy Christmas and all the best for 2010!

See you soon,
Nomi Tang