Books that will turn you on

It’s pretty cold outside! And how could you relax better than by cuddling up in bed and reading an erotic book and then trying everything you read about with your partner or indulge in some sexy solo play? I can assure you, those cold long winter nights will soon become pretty hot!! 😉

Here are some of my favorite picks when it comes to luscious stories and techniques that are guaranteed to turn you on:

Lust: Erotic Fantasies for Women by Violet Blue

Who can live without lust? All day and night, our minds run through delicious possibilities — a silky hand beckoning us into the VIP lounge; a stranger in the backseat; the hunky FedEx driver bringing his package to the door — not to mention our own lascivious memories. Lust is a collection of erotica by and for women, a fierce and joyous celebration of female desire — and the triple-X trouble it gets us into. In Kay Jaybee’s “Tied to the Kitchen Sink,” a birthday boy finds his present — nude except for tall, high-heeled boots — happily devoted to domestic duties. Maria Grigoriadis’ “Pleasant Surprise” shows what can happen when you knock on the wrong apartment door — without your panties. And Bonnie Dee’s “Ripe Fruit” teasingly elaborates the sweet, sticky encounter of a soap opera idol and a fruit-stand employee on a stretch of rural roadside.

Girls on Top: Explicit Erotica for Women by Violet Blue

Prolific editrix Violet Blue presents another blazing hot set of erotic shorts by women, for women.  This commanding collection shows how exciting life can be when a woman takes control of her own pleasure, as in S.J. Frost’s “Quarterbacking,” an inspiring tale of first time girl-on-top domination.  Foot fetishism and saucy teasing meet in Elizabeth Colvin’s “High Heels.”  B.J. Franklin’s portrayal of gripping group sex in “The Hostage” and the delectable exhibitionism in Virgie Tovar’s “New York Peep Show” feature women who break all the rules to get off.  Filled with surprises, unexpected twists, and arousing confessionals, Girls on Top confirms that anything is possible when a girl wants, takes, gets!

Luscious: Stories of Anal Erotica by Alison Tyler and Tristan Taormino

A celebration of anal sex! With 27 stories by today’s hottest authors, telling us tales of all the ins and outs of this popular and sometimes secret sexual practice. Anal sex isn’t so dirty, especially when you are into making someone’s butt feel so good! Talk of toys, boys, strapping it on, licking it up and more are all included in this collection.

Tickle Your Fancy: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Self-Pleasure by Sadie Allison

A fabulous bite-sized yet complete ‘how-to’ guide to women’s self-pleasure. This fun, guilt-free book details much about paddling the pink canoe- including anatomy, fantasy, orgasms, tools and techniques, anal play, sex toys, and safety.

Toygasms: An insider’s guide to sex toys and techniques by Sadie Allison

From the author of Tickle Your Fancy, comes a guide to choosing and using the best toys for you and your lover. Plus, it includes ways to use them that maximize your pleasure. This pocket-sized and easy to read book covers all the basics of using toys.

The Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn by Violet Blue

Acclaimed sex educator Violet Blue tells women how to find porn they’ll like, from favorite turn-ons and women-friendly DVDs to Podcasts and porn groups on the web. She shows how to reconcile fantasy with real-life desires, and how smart girls can maintain their own beauty standards when the people on screen seem impossibly buff, smooth, and surgically enhanced. Looking for authentic sex scenes? Thinking of sharing porn with a lover? Wonder which browser is safest for Internet porn surfing? This book has the answers.

How To Tell A Naked Man What To Do by Candida Royalle

After 20 years making adult films from a female perspective, Candida Royalle knows how to tell a naked man what to do. This fun, highly readable guide, by the director known for her women-friendly porn (StudHunters, Eyes of Desire, Caribbean Heat), will help you make sure your lover knows how to please you every time.

Bedroom Games: Stripteases, seductions and other surprises to keep your partner coming back for more by Mary Taylor

The lights are low. Your favorite sultry tunes are playing quietly in the background. A scented candle is burning. Your man sits in the center of the room, eagerly awaiting the surprise you’ve been planning for weeks. Slowly, you make your entrance, dressed in a little black number you bought on the sly. As his jaw drops you slink toward him, moving to the rhythm of the music. And the night has only just begun.

Former exotic dancer Mary Taylor offers a wealth of advice for women on how to cast aside their insecurities and inhibitions. Full of tips on choosing the right time, setting, music, lighting, costume, and persona, and step-by-step instructions on basic and more advanced striptease moves, Bedroom Games is your key to turning your (and his!) most secret sexual fantasies into reality and giving the man in your life a night he won’t soon forget!

The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy: How to Turn Your Fantasies Into Reality by Violet Blue

Whether you’re looking for an endless supply of fantasy ideas or expert advice for a playful, imaginative sex life that turns you both on, this charming and information-packed book will tell you exactly what you need to know:

* Role-play: hot, dramatic sex without feeling silly
* How to have a threesome—without jealousy
* How to have sex in public
* Thrilling S/M scenarios
* Racy sex games for lovers
* How to strip, lap dance, talk dirty
* Make your own porn and erotic photographs

Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century by Barbara Carrellas

Tantric sex is a making quite the impression upon many – both those drawn to the spiritual connection between sexuality and physicality and those simply looking for new sensations. Within Urban Tantra, readers will find excellent techniques, meditations, helpful drawings, info about the basics of Tantra, and how modern lovers can apply all these ideas in their busy lives. If Tantric sex has always piqued your interest, but the new age-y aspects seemed too much, Urban Tantra is a great resource to satisfy your curiosities and give you practical information to get your soul flying!

Your Orgasmic Pregnancy by Danielle Cavallucci and Yvonne Fulbright

Here’s the inside scoop on sex during pregnancy:  It can be passionate, painless and completely safe!  During these magical nine months, you’ll develop luscious new curves and boast a heightened libido and an increased ability to orgasm.  So don’t be misled by old taboos and myths: Sex while you’re pregnant can be the best you’ve ever had.

Danielle Cavallucci, a pregnancy fitness specialist, has partnered with noted sexologist Yvonne Fulbright to bring pregnant women and their partners this potent brew of tips and techniques for intimacy and great sex.  The authors discuss: safe sexual techniques; how to spice it up with toys, lingerie and erotica; sexy alternatives to intercourse; and ways for a Hot Mama to love herself.

For partners, the book offers tips and suggestions to help keep up with their pregnant partner’s progress, embrace her changes and share in the steamy fun between the sheets.  Throughout the book, Cavallucci and Fulbright prescribe a “love yourself” mindset that emphasizes a positive attitude, confident intercourse and making pregnancy a “growing” experience in more ways than one.

Enjoy reading, and make sure to leave your books lying around, so that your partner can have a look, too, and share your new wisdom! 😉

Yours,

Nomi Tang

Why wonder? – My favorite sex education websites

You cannot know everything about sex and you might have a lot of questions on you mind.  Thus it’s good to know where to turn to and whom to ask for confidential advice. Of course, you can always approach your doctor, your friends, etc. But some questions are simply easier to ask in complete anonymity. And it’s comforting to see that there has been somebody before you, probably having the same kind of question. That’s why I would like to share with you my favorite sex education websites, specifically addressing adults.

–          www.kinseyconfidential.org
Probably the most scientific and seriously-managed website on sex education for mature people. You will find really helpful advice – written and as podcasts – as well as private blogs, book reviews and links to external resources.

–          www.sexuality.about.com
About.com provides guidance on the most diverse topics you can possibly think of. On sexuality.about.com you will learn everything about sex practices, sexual health and relationships.

–          http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships
TheSite.org is “your guide to the real world” – and we all know this includes sex and relationships. TheSite.org is pretty much similar to About.com, but it’s always good to hear two opinions on an issue, isn’t it?

–          http://drruth.com/
Dr. Ruth Westheimer is a psychosexual therapist who pioneered speaking frankly about sexual matters on radio in 1980. This is her official website where you can find advice on anything related to sexuality, as well as toy reviews, book recommendations and tips on how to spice up your sex life.
When you enter the site, ignore the iphone add at the top (if it’s still there) and scroll down to get to all the interesting stuff.

–          http://www.allsexadvice.com/
This is a sex-positive forum that enables you to build greater self-awareness, enhance sexual experiences and expand the understanding of your body. You can instantly read all articles, but have to register if you want to post your own questions (this will only take a few minutes).

If you want to get more practical or are looking for some more personal guidance, why not go to a workshop? Yes, I’m serious – a workshop! The easiest way to find out about workshops in your region is probably to just ask in your favorite toy or lingerie boutique. They often run workshops themselves or do at least have some knowledge about who else might. Otherwise google the internet! And don’t be afraid, these workshops are held in a very relaxed atmosphere, with experienced women guiding you through the evening and being open to every question you may have.

I wish you a fun time exploring your sexuality further,

Nomi Tang

Never used a vibrator before?

Don’t worry, I won’t tell you that you SHOULD use a vibrator or any other sex toy. This is far from my intention as I see sexuality as a highly personal aspect of one’s life, and nobody is able to tell what is right or wrong except for your own intuition and from what feels right for you.

But as you frequent this blog, I guess the thought about using a vibrator might already have crossed your mind. 🙂
There are various reasons why one might use a vibrator, and various situations to do so. Maybe you are looking for some new excitement for your solo play? Or are keen on trying something different together with your partner? Or you have simply been recommended to use one by a friend of yours and want to try it out of pure curiosity?

Now matter why you are thinking about using a vibrator, I encourage you to do so, as it will enhance your sex life and allows you to get to know your body even better. Worldwide about 25% of all women own at least one vibrator, and in the Western world numbers rise up to 50% and higher! So many women cannot be wrong. 😉

If you plan on using a vibrator for the first time, I suggest you to go for a model designed for clitoral stimulation. This allows you to get used to the handling and different buttons that are common to most sex toys, without having to think about the right size of the toy, your body’s reaction upon insertion or hitting the G-Spot.

Before you start, make sure you have plenty of time to try the toy and explore your body, and that you are in the right mood. Generally, the same advise that I gave last time concerning setting the mood for masturbation applies here. After all, it’s just sex (solo or with a partner), but with a toy.

Of course, there is no “right” way to use a vibrator, just do what feels right for you. But if you have never used one before, here are some hints to make it an enjoyable experience:

1. Use an antibacterial wet wipe or warm soapy water to clean the outside of your toy. If you picked a model that is not waterproof, be careful not to get any water near the battery compartment. Of course this does not apply to my range of vibrators.

2. Get to know your new toy by playing around with the switches and buttons. Make yourself familiar with the different
speeds and vibration patterns it offers.

3. Even if you plan on using a vibrator together with your partner, it might be easier to start on your own. You will feel more self-conscious and won’t be distracted 😉

4. Before turning the vibrator on, touch your body with it turned off. Thereby you get a feel for the sensations the material gives you when it touches your skin. This might also be the moment to decide if you want to apply some lubricant to make the toy slide better over your skin. Please be aware that most toys are made from silicone and should therefore only be used with water-based lubricant to avoid damages of the outer material.

5. Turn your vibrator on and try how the different patterns feel all over your body. Even though vibrators are used mostly around the vulva and clitoris, try slowly moving the vibrator up your inner thigh or in circles around your breasts and nipples before proceeding to your most sensitive parts.

6. Don’t rush! Take your time and explore every inch of your body for sexual pleasure. Experiment with the different speed and pulsation settings. Apply different pressure to your body parts and vary between pointing the tip of the vibrator or the flattest part of it against your body.

7. If you want to use your vibrator for penetration and it’s safe for this purpose (that is no rough edges, and not absorbing body fluids), I recommend to apply some water-based lubricant to the vibrator itself as well as your labia and vagina.

8. When you feel ready to go for it, start slowly with the penetration. Experiment and find out what feels best for you. Some women engage in the search for the famous G-Spot, others stimulate their clitoris indirectly by pressing the vibrator towards the belly.

9. After you stopped playing, clean your toy with antibacterial wet wipes and warm water, take the batteries out (to prevent corrosion) and store it in a clean place (some toys come with a handy storage pouch).
Seems complicated? Don’t worry, once you are in the mood and start experimenting it will be natural. And trust me, it only seems kinky the first time! 🙂

Enjoy,

Nomi Tang