Never used a vibrator before?

Don’t worry, I won’t tell you that you SHOULD use a vibrator or any other sex toy. This is far from my intention as I see sexuality as a highly personal aspect of one’s life, and nobody is able to tell what is right or wrong except for your own intuition and from what feels right for you.

But as you frequent this blog, I guess the thought about using a vibrator might already have crossed your mind. 🙂
There are various reasons why one might use a vibrator, and various situations to do so. Maybe you are looking for some new excitement for your solo play? Or are keen on trying something different together with your partner? Or you have simply been recommended to use one by a friend of yours and want to try it out of pure curiosity?

Now matter why you are thinking about using a vibrator, I encourage you to do so, as it will enhance your sex life and allows you to get to know your body even better. Worldwide about 25% of all women own at least one vibrator, and in the Western world numbers rise up to 50% and higher! So many women cannot be wrong. 😉

If you plan on using a vibrator for the first time, I suggest you to go for a model designed for clitoral stimulation. This allows you to get used to the handling and different buttons that are common to most sex toys, without having to think about the right size of the toy, your body’s reaction upon insertion or hitting the G-Spot.

Before you start, make sure you have plenty of time to try the toy and explore your body, and that you are in the right mood. Generally, the same advise that I gave last time concerning setting the mood for masturbation applies here. After all, it’s just sex (solo or with a partner), but with a toy.

Of course, there is no “right” way to use a vibrator, just do what feels right for you. But if you have never used one before, here are some hints to make it an enjoyable experience:

1. Use an antibacterial wet wipe or warm soapy water to clean the outside of your toy. If you picked a model that is not waterproof, be careful not to get any water near the battery compartment. Of course this does not apply to my range of vibrators.

2. Get to know your new toy by playing around with the switches and buttons. Make yourself familiar with the different
speeds and vibration patterns it offers.

3. Even if you plan on using a vibrator together with your partner, it might be easier to start on your own. You will feel more self-conscious and won’t be distracted 😉

4. Before turning the vibrator on, touch your body with it turned off. Thereby you get a feel for the sensations the material gives you when it touches your skin. This might also be the moment to decide if you want to apply some lubricant to make the toy slide better over your skin. Please be aware that most toys are made from silicone and should therefore only be used with water-based lubricant to avoid damages of the outer material.

5. Turn your vibrator on and try how the different patterns feel all over your body. Even though vibrators are used mostly around the vulva and clitoris, try slowly moving the vibrator up your inner thigh or in circles around your breasts and nipples before proceeding to your most sensitive parts.

6. Don’t rush! Take your time and explore every inch of your body for sexual pleasure. Experiment with the different speed and pulsation settings. Apply different pressure to your body parts and vary between pointing the tip of the vibrator or the flattest part of it against your body.

7. If you want to use your vibrator for penetration and it’s safe for this purpose (that is no rough edges, and not absorbing body fluids), I recommend to apply some water-based lubricant to the vibrator itself as well as your labia and vagina.

8. When you feel ready to go for it, start slowly with the penetration. Experiment and find out what feels best for you. Some women engage in the search for the famous G-Spot, others stimulate their clitoris indirectly by pressing the vibrator towards the belly.

9. After you stopped playing, clean your toy with antibacterial wet wipes and warm water, take the batteries out (to prevent corrosion) and store it in a clean place (some toys come with a handy storage pouch).
Seems complicated? Don’t worry, once you are in the mood and start experimenting it will be natural. And trust me, it only seems kinky the first time! 🙂

Enjoy,

Nomi Tang

How to masturbate | Enjoy yourself!

Orgasms are great! And most women achieve this delightful feeling more easily while masturbating than having sex with a partner. But let’s face it, whereas male masturbation is considered to be “normal” and maybe even necessary for the boys to “let off steam”, female masturbation still remains a taboo in wide parts of today’s society. Sometimes it’s seen as dirty, a stopgap for single women, or even a betrayal of the partner.

In my mind, masturbation is natural – as generally nobody teaches us how to do it, and we still end up discovering the pleasures of solo play sooner or later in our lives. Neither do I see masturbation as a substitute for sex – or sex as a substitute for masturbation. Masturbation can rather enhance your sexual experience with your partner, as you get to know your body, explore your erogenous zones and start developing fantasies. You will be able to guide your partner while having sex with him, and make it an even more pleasurable experience for both of you.

Especially for women who have difficulties to orgasm, solo play is a nice way to train the ability to practice how to get there with a partner. And the best part about it: The journey is the reward. 😉

So, no matter if you are a regular self-pleaser or a newcomer, here are some hints how to make masturbating a really good experience:

– Make sure you are warm (literally, I mean) and comfortable, find a nice spot where no one will disturb or interrupt you (except if you like that little thrill), and chose a situation where you have plenty of time.

– To create a personal cozy atmosphere, dim the light, light some candles, dispense relaxing essential oils and put on music you like.

– Begin by touching yourself all over, paying careful attention to the areas of the body that are most sensitive. Try arching your back, fondling your breasts, or clenching and rubbing your thighs together.

– Once you’re turned on, you probably feel ready for genital stimulation.

– Move your fingers closer towards your vagina. Don’t rush and explore the outer and inner vaginal lips. If you are not sure where your clitoris is, run your finger along the inside of the vaginal lips, up toward your navel. The clitoris is protected under a hood of skin, and most women do not enjoy directly touching the clitoral glans because it is very sensitive.

– Experiment with different methods of touching yourself: rub or stroke the shaft of your clitoris, massage the labia, use your fingers as a V-shape sliding up and down. Alternate between stimulating your vagina and your clitoris, between making circles and linear movements, and between different levels of pressure.

– Maybe you would like to position a mirror in a way that you can watch yourself and appreciate the attractiveness a sexual partner would see?

– Try to add some variation to your solo play: change the position and try different toys.

– Try new places. How about a nice bubble bath? Or a place where you could be spotted, such as a restaurant bathroom?

– Once you feel comfortable touching yourself, why not let your partner watch you while doing so? I promise you he will be turned on and maybe not even let you finish by ourself, but take over 😉

I bet, once you have tried experimenting, you will be able to add infinite ideas to that list. Actually, if you would like to do so, just leave a comment! 🙂

And never forget: Masturbation is sex with a person you love.

Yours,

Nomi